9728: Herman Cain Endorses Fellow Adulterer.

Hey, look! Herman Cain is back and endorsing Newt Gingrich.

“I hereby officially and enthusiastically endorse Newt Gingrich,” declared Cain. “There are several reasons as to why I have reached this public decision. One of the biggest reasons is the fact that I know Speaker Gingrich is a patriot, Speaker Gingrich is not afraid of bold ideas.”

Plus, Cain and Gingrich share a lot of the same positions on women and marriage.

9586: Remembering Herman Cain.

“…So it boiled down to family first,” explained former GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain on his decision to suspend his campaign. Right. If the man had put family first, he might still be a contender versus just inspiring a Top Ten List.

Top Ten Things Herman Cain Will Do Now

10. Spend more time with the estranged family.

9. Dancing With The Stars 2012.


8. Call Rick Perry to say, “Yo, I suspended my campaign—and almost matched your “Oops” moment with my Libya blubbering—but I’m still trouncing your ass!”

7. Resume the search for Nicole’s real killer.


6. Take on the Tea Party by starting the Pizza Party.

5. Relaunch his campaign to become President—of the National Restaurant Association.


4. Call Michele Bachmann to say, “I could help you in the polls, if you know what I’m saying.”


3. Present his global Booty Call Map.


2. Turn Women for Herman Cain into a dating site.

1. Hang out with his mentors, Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods.

9574: Cain Contextual Commentary.

The online news of Herman Cain’s campaign suspension came with contextual commentary.


Look closely at The New York Times page. The Google Ads to the right offer relief for depression. And beside the quote from Cain addressing his alleged marital affair and sexual harassment charges is a tiny banner for a movie titled, “Shame.”


The New York Post saluted the Godfather’s Pizza executive with a banner from Domino’s Pizza, as well as an exclusive gift from Starbucks—perfect for a gift-giver like Cain.


The New York Daily News presented the story under a banner for Virgin America encouraging people to take off. Additionally, a banner to the right from CDW offers products, services and expertise to enhance your communications.


USA TODAY presented a chart of the ex-presidential candidate’s rise and fall—under a banner from Prudential with a rising chart and advice on retirement.

9566: Reassessing The Race.

From The Chicago Sun-Times.

9562: Cain Draws A Map And A Blank.

GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain unveiled a new map to expose his vision for foreign policy and national security. A number of countries—including Mexico, Canada, Brazil, Israel and Japan—were labeled as “friends” on the illustration. For example, Mexico is identified as a friend in need. Which means it could expect to enjoy a 13-year affair with the United States under Cain’s leadership. Ironically, the graphic is titled, “My Assessment of Our Key Country Relations,” presented as the politician is reportedly “reassessing” his campaign in light of news of alleged improper relations. The next map from the Cain crew should diagram an exit strategy. Dancing With The Stars awaits.

9559: The Herman Cain Affair.

Can things get any worse for Herman Cain? Ginger White of Atlanta claims she had a 13-year affair with Cain while he served as the president of the National Restaurant Association—which looks like the last presidential position he’ll ever hold.

Of course, Cain is in full denial mode, issuing a public announcement on CNN where he described the relationship as “trying to help a friend” because of White “not having a job etcetera and this sort of thing.” Sounds like friends with benefits. And a pattern seems to be emerging regarding Cain “trying to help” women in need of employment opportunities. Maybe he can somehow leverage the experiences into a jobs program for America. Hey, cheating on your spouse isn’t necessarily a political career killer, as evidenced by Newt Gingrich’s candidacy. But suffering brain freezes when asked about foreign affairs and extramarital affairs won’t help the polling numbers.